Hearing the opinions of other people is a good thing, right?
I can't take criticism. I just can't.
I mean, if you consider nodding and smiling and promising to change and do better and conform to what the other person is saying, then sure, I take criticism amazingly!
But really, if I even get a hint of somebody not agreeing with me, I go into panic mode and automatically assume that it means they hate me as a person and that I did something wrong and then I start a whole self-loathing episode and my brain reminds me of every single stupid thing I've ever done in my entire life.
It's bad. It's really bad. I know. But hard as I try, I've just always been like this. I have my suspicions as to why, but nothing confirmed.
So I just keep living like this. And it's always been this way. But why?
No amount of reassurance will help me. I appreciate it, but it doesn't work.
This isn't the best feature to have as a blogger/performer/artist...
I've been working on this post for a while, but it keeps tangenting into my other social quirks and anxiety-riddled life, and I intended this post to just be about not taking criticism well, sooo... I guess I'll just end it here.
Expect another more general post about my extreme awkwardness in the near future (I'll elaborate on this topic more, too).
I'm going to call this Part 1. Maybe make a mini-series of posts to try to explain my anxiety and accompanying issues. Hmmm.
-Sarah
I always say that I handle other people's opinions well.
I've duped myself. Not sure if I fooled anyone else, though.
I can't take criticism. I just can't.
I mean, if you consider nodding and smiling and promising to change and do better and conform to what the other person is saying, then sure, I take criticism amazingly!
But really, if I even get a hint of somebody not agreeing with me, I go into panic mode and automatically assume that it means they hate me as a person and that I did something wrong and then I start a whole self-loathing episode and my brain reminds me of every single stupid thing I've ever done in my entire life.
It's bad. It's really bad. I know. But hard as I try, I've just always been like this. I have my suspicions as to why, but nothing confirmed.
So I just keep living like this. And it's always been this way. But why?
No amount of reassurance will help me. I appreciate it, but it doesn't work.
This isn't the best feature to have as a blogger/performer/artist...
I've been working on this post for a while, but it keeps tangenting into my other social quirks and anxiety-riddled life, and I intended this post to just be about not taking criticism well, sooo... I guess I'll just end it here.
Expect another more general post about my extreme awkwardness in the near future (I'll elaborate on this topic more, too).
I'm going to call this Part 1. Maybe make a mini-series of posts to try to explain my anxiety and accompanying issues. Hmmm.
-Sarah
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